Intelligent bodies always know the answer, we just have to listen.
Intelligent bodies always know the answer, we just have to listen.
So for those of you who don’t follow our social media I wanted to update you on the “other reason,” I have been taking time out of clinic this March and April. I have been studying for my Functional Medicine qualification, but it was also to give me some needed rest and recuperation time as I have been feeling increasingly unwell for some months. In October 2020 I got sick with what I thought was a nasty virus (not covid – I had enough tests over the 6 months to rule that out for sure!). This knocked the wind out my sails for nearly 3 weeks, but hey it was winter and there were lots of bugs going around plus let’s face it 2020 was a stressful year especially as a business owner, so I chalked this up to my body being run down and the effects of the year catching up on me.
Unfortunately, this “virus” didn’t really go and a few weeks later I was feeling dreadful again with severe headaches, sinus pain and ear fullness, the absolutely revolting symptom of catarrh (I have a new found sympathy for sufferers of this disgusting symptom), vertigo, fatigue, a chronic cough that sounded like I smoked 20 a day, joint pain and generally feeling pretty miserable, and this was the case pretty consistently for the following six months.
For any of you who know me, you know I practice what I preach and I am extremely passionate about health and wellness and do honestly follow my own advice……..for the most part, so I was worried and also pretty irritated to find myself in this position.
Anyways I was “doing” my usual wellness routines of getting adjusted, having acupuncture, Yoga/Pilates, walking, eating well (admittedly not as well as I am now!), using wellness practices of essential oils, oil pulling, netty pots, body brushing, lymphatic drainage techniques you name it. I was regularly seeing the other therapists at Align for either massage, reflexology or craniosacral and I see a nutritionist/herbalist once a month too! I was getting plenty of sleep (there was no choice on this one – I was even sleeping on my lunch break as I felt so rubbish), I was also making a bigger effort to meditate more regularly, which is something I have notoriously resisted as it involves just “being still” and my pattern is I like “doing” and being busy! There is a lesson here for any “do’ers” reading this! I was, I thought “doing everything”!
My GP thought I had a post-viral syndrome of some kind and the typical medical management for that is practice healthy behaviours, rest and take care of yourself which is what I do anyway. I made the very uncomfortable decision to take some time off to rest, but I justified this in my head as I could also use the time to study rather than attempt to cram it into evenings and weekends like I had originally planned. I can now see the funny side, in the fact that even when I felt as bad as I did that, I still could not give myself permission to just fully rest and relax! The mind is such a powerful tool and does not like you moving away from learnt behaviours, but that does not mean to say you do not need to for your own health!
The first 3 weeks of said “study time” I spent mostly asleep or when I was awake, the headaches were so bad I managed about 2 hours a day actual study as I just couldn’t focus. I was seeing all my usual wellness people and even they were scratching their heads and could not figure out what was going on, the advice was just to rest, gently exercise and keep taking following all my wellness practices. That’s when I realised, I really needed to look at everything I was doing, as in Einstein’s famous words “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”! I was most definitely missing something, so I knew I had to take a deeper look at what I was eating, drinking, thinking, breathing and doing (or not doing as the case may be) and really start using my knowledge and understanding about how the body works to get myself better, as there is always a reason for ill health, it’s just finding it! At the end of the day I know if you want to feel your best and be the best version of yourself you have to do the work, and I wasn’t getting better doing the stuff I enjoyed doing!
In my case the “work” was doing the stuff that was uncomfortable (as is often the case). What I needed to do was really rest and do nothing, which was alien and frankly left me feeling very unsettled, mostly due to some very unhelpful limiting beliefs; I started meditating daily (sometimes even twice a day) to give my overworked and stressed brain a rest and allow my intuition space to be heard. I started to delve deeper and have a very close look at my belief patterns and behaviours that were no longer serving me and commit to making some serious changes. I’m not going to lie this was tough, it was all internal work and there is no hiding from yourself and certainly no cheating or “get arounds” as you are only cheating yourself.
When it comes to treating addictions, it is a well-known concept that addicts (be it drugs, food, alcohol, sex, gambling, anything that has an unhealthy mental hold over you) often need to hit “rock bottom” before they have the willpower, motivation, strength or whatever that magic ingredient is to spark the intention to really change. Well, I can firmly say that this “viral thing” was my rock bottom, and I was committed to making whatever changes were needed, to get myself back to health again.
I feel very comfortable helping others find solutions to help them feel and be their best which is all an external action and something I (like many) are very good at, as it also means you can avoid looking at yourself, even if you do not realise this may be what you are doing? We all have blind spots where we can’t see parts of either our character, our behaviours, our beliefs, that are blindingly obvious to others, but remain a complete mystery or secret to us, which is why we are often great at giving advice but perhaps not so good at recognising when we need to take our own!
It is only when you commit the time, space, energy, and love to yourself and start looking at your thoughts, beliefs, behaviours, and desires that you really start to see and understand not only more about yourself and potentially your blind spots but also you connect to the part of you that always has your best interests at heart. Some may describe this part as your soul, others your inner wisdom, or your gut instinct or intuition. Whatever you call it or whatever you believe, this is the quiet voice that talks to you if you are walking alone at night that says, keep your wits about you, or turn around. It’s the voice that makes you think about someone and then you find out they are in trouble or perhaps not in a good place. Its that feeling you get when you walk into a room and sense that something is not right. It is the part of you that is ALWAYS right and will always keep you safe and wants you to be happy, healthy and experiencing the very best of life.
This is the part of me I had forgotten to listen for, to trust, to rely on and I am so grateful for this period of ill health that has meant that I have reconnected to my inner self. I realised I have spent the last few years making decisions, not from my gut or my heart but from my head, and as much as our logical minds serve us well, they are limited and often quash our growth, creativity and intuition and that is never a good thing.
For a while, I had been getting increasingly frustrated and talking negatively to myself and my body. I was annoyed that I didn’t appear to be responding to my “care” efforts and was frustrated that my body appeared to be failing me and that I couldn’t rely on it. I was using my logical mind and my learnt behaviours and beliefs to get me well, rather than ask my body what it needed. When I stopped “doing” and started “being”, spending time looking inwards rather than looking for external fixes, the answer came!
It didn’t come with a fanfare, just a simple random thought as I was walking the dogs in the sunshine enjoying being outside and appreciating my surroundings. “What about that front tooth?”
I should say at this point, I did not have a tooth ache or any symptoms. The “tooth” my inner guidance was referring to was one I had seen the dentist about 3 years earlier as it had changed colour slightly. The dentist at the time xray’d it and said there was no obvious issue but it would likely need a root canal in time as it had been damaged. I started oil pulling regularly using essential oils to help heal the area and strengthen my teeth and oral health and I never thought again about it until it was presented to me by my inner guidance.
That tooth it turns out, after having an x-ray has a huge abscess above it and has been slowly poisoning me on a daily basis for what could be nearly 3 years. My dentist didn’t want to touch it so immediately referred me to a specialist to start treatment.
Not only has my incredible body had my back all this time, it has been fighting for my health 24 hours a day 7 days a week to keep me functioning with barely a grumble or complaint. It has been stoically doing its job protecting me to the very best of its abilities so that I could continue to experience life and everything it has to offer. The body’s power and capabilities never cease to amaze me, how they adapt, reorganise, repair, fight intruders and keep us safe every hour of every day, 365 days a year and all without us even acknowledging or appreciating what is happening!
I realised (like many I am sure) that I had become disconnected from my body and its magnificence as I was spending too much time in my head. Although I was ticking boxes for my health (and don’t get me wrong they are important boxes) I wasn’t giving it what it really needed, appreciation, kindness and support in the form of rest. This is a lesson I will not forget again, and I hope my journey inspires you to also make any changes that you know are in the interests of your highest good.
With much love and light and wishing you all the very best in heath and that life has to offer
Marie-Christine x
